Anxiety

Anxiety has been something that I have struggled with in the past. It is something that isn't constant but when it shows up it shows up in a BIG way. Recently we have been going through some pretty big transitions in life. Nils is looking for new opportunities so that I can stay home (yes his current place knows this). Also our sweet daycare lady who I also consider a friend is closing her home daycare to teach 3rd grade. I am so excited for her because I know this has been on her heart for the last year or longer but she was such an easy decision for us. We knew that if she had an opening when our time came to become parents that we would send our child to her. She has been awesome and if I'm not the one taking care of him (or family) then Id want it to be her. I know most people aren't lucky enough to know their daycare provider ahead of time but we were. Well now is where the anxiety comes in. How can I leave him with a total stranger? How can I go to work everyday when I want to be the one staying home with him and drop him off at a place Ive maybe visited once. We have until August 22nd to come up with a plan. This is a plan I don't even want to think about or do anything with. I just want to trust and believe that he will find a job before then and that this was all apart of the perfect plan and timing but honestly I just don't. So I begin the search for someone and continue to dream of the day when I can get my dream job and I get to stay home for good. I get a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes just thinking about this search. UGH. Pray he gets a job by August so that we can both be in our dream jobs!