Heres a recap of the foods I've had this week:
Most breakfasts have been almonds & bananas. This is the one mean I struggle with because I really don't have time to make a big meal on the days little man has school. Hoping next week I can get better with at least making some eggs.
Snacks have been fruit, nuts (macadamia, cashews, and almonds), or veggies.
Lunches have been leftovers every day except for monday when I made scotch eggs with carrots & oranges on the side. Basically hard boil the eggs, peel, then wrap in ground pork (uncooked). Bake at 350 for 20-25mins. These need some work. I have got to figure out spices because they were pretty bland.
Dinner night 1: BLT. Well I just had bacon and wrapped it in lettuce. It was my first night and well that was the least satisfying meal. I really can't eat tomatoes if they aren't cooked. I tried but ugh I just do not like them. I had a side of veggies and some fruit with it.
Dinner night 2: Pepper Steak. This is a HUGE favorite of mine except I had to leave off the soy sauce and rice. Basically cut up the steak into strips and fried it up in ghee. Then I cut the green peppers into strips and added them once the steak was cooked. Once they were both cooked I added 1 can of diced tomatoes and let it simmer for 10mins on low. I had a little left over for the next day so I put that little bit over a baked potato.
Dinner night 3: Roast pork, carrots, and sweet potatoes. I am just not a huge sweet potato person but it was good. I added italian seasoning to it to give some flavor while cooking. I also added 1 tbsp of ghee at the bottom of the roaster. I started it in the crock pot but the meat was just not cooking great so I moved everything to a roaster in the over and it was done by dinner time. Had left overs today for lunch!
Dinner night 4: Cooked chopped up chicken in coconut oil & curry powder. Then removed the chicken and added chopped up broccoli and asparagus. After a few mins I added the chicken back in. I then added 1 can of organic tomato paste & organic stewed tomatoes (I blended the tomatoes because I don't love chunks of stewed tomatoes and mixed the paste with it). Saved part for tomorrows lunch because Im learning its best to over cook and have a left over meal. Its one less meal to prepare. I then poured it all over a baked potato. It was pretty awesome!
So far all I've had to drink is water or black coffee.
A HUGE victory for me tonight was my kids are not feeling well and one asked for a frosty. Since my husband wasn't going to be home till later I decided just to get them food. That crap smelled SO strong but I fed them and anything that was left over went straight to the trash OUTSIDE!
My weight loss for the last week is 10lbs. Im sure it is a combo of the new diet, no soda, lots of water, almost everyday at the gym, and I went off a medication I was on (Ive been on it since summer and gained 30lbs....it was NOT ok to gain that much)
So that's that.
1.11.2015
Whole 30 Journey...Day -1
Starting a new journey tomorrow. Tomorrow is Day 1 of whole 30. I needed to do things step by step. I can just quit all things at once. So gym for a week to get that routine going and now to my eating. I really wanted something that could kick start everything. I wanted something that would force me to give up all things I LOVE (carbs, sweets, and diet coke) for a period of time so that I could learn to live without them except for special occasions. SO this is where whole 30 comes in. I am going to give all of that up for 30 days. Basically I eat Meat, veggies, and some fruit. Its going to be rough but I just know that it is going to be a great thing. Heres to last meals of carbs, diet coke and ALL things I love!
1.06.2015
New year...hopefully new me
Well obviously this whole blogging thing has taken a nose dive into no where. I am hoping I can pick it back up again and share my journey to a better me.
This all started last march when I had to have a hysterectomy. I felt like my world came crashing down. I acted like I was totally ok with it but lets face it no one in their 30s thinks they will be going down that path. Thankfully I had my 2 miracles babies and could have closer in all areas of having children.
Since my surgery over the last 10 months I have experienced many LOWS and not a lot of highs. I have felt horrible both physically and emotionally. I decided it was time to have another talk with my doctor. She knows my personal history. She knows that in 3 years time I lost my mom, grandpa (who was basically my dad), had a baby, had the tubal which was a really bad recovery, and then of course the hysterectomy. I just couldn't understand why I felt SO low. So she had me do this "survey" and I scored horrible. She said that maybe it was time to try some meds for a little while to get me through and back on my feet. Well I have been on it 9 months and while mentally I have felt a lot better physically it has sucked. I have gained 30lbs and the pain is still there (which obviously the meds weren't going to fix).
Fast forward to right now. We moved to Florida and Ive had to find all new doctors. I was referred to a Eurogyno doc. Several weeks ago she found a mass and right now I am having a million tests done to figure out what it is and what needs to be done. I also decided to go off of the meds because I just wanted to feel normal again. When I say i felt better it basically means I feel nothing and thats not a great way to go through life either. Plus the weight gain has really brought me down. I feel like I can't do as much with my kids and I just need to get it back off and start feeling better about myself. I want to have a MUCH better self imagine of myself that my mom always did. I don't think she was ever comfortable in her skin and I feel the exact same way and honestly I hope for my daughter that she gets a lot more of her dad's genes and doesn't struggle weight weight like generations of women before her.
In other news are move has been a good change. While I miss my friends and family dearly I am happy to not be cooped up for months at a time and enjoying doing a lot as a family. We have been able to spend a lot of time outdoors with the kids and I think that is worth it! Ive also been able to make some super sweet friends here and thankfully a lot of them go to the gym that I joined so they can keep me motivated to go.
So that's kind of the news with me: figuring out what the mass is, joining a gym and getting healthy, and moving to Florida (ok well thats mostly old news but I guess I never shared that either).
This all started last march when I had to have a hysterectomy. I felt like my world came crashing down. I acted like I was totally ok with it but lets face it no one in their 30s thinks they will be going down that path. Thankfully I had my 2 miracles babies and could have closer in all areas of having children.
Since my surgery over the last 10 months I have experienced many LOWS and not a lot of highs. I have felt horrible both physically and emotionally. I decided it was time to have another talk with my doctor. She knows my personal history. She knows that in 3 years time I lost my mom, grandpa (who was basically my dad), had a baby, had the tubal which was a really bad recovery, and then of course the hysterectomy. I just couldn't understand why I felt SO low. So she had me do this "survey" and I scored horrible. She said that maybe it was time to try some meds for a little while to get me through and back on my feet. Well I have been on it 9 months and while mentally I have felt a lot better physically it has sucked. I have gained 30lbs and the pain is still there (which obviously the meds weren't going to fix).
Fast forward to right now. We moved to Florida and Ive had to find all new doctors. I was referred to a Eurogyno doc. Several weeks ago she found a mass and right now I am having a million tests done to figure out what it is and what needs to be done. I also decided to go off of the meds because I just wanted to feel normal again. When I say i felt better it basically means I feel nothing and thats not a great way to go through life either. Plus the weight gain has really brought me down. I feel like I can't do as much with my kids and I just need to get it back off and start feeling better about myself. I want to have a MUCH better self imagine of myself that my mom always did. I don't think she was ever comfortable in her skin and I feel the exact same way and honestly I hope for my daughter that she gets a lot more of her dad's genes and doesn't struggle weight weight like generations of women before her.
In other news are move has been a good change. While I miss my friends and family dearly I am happy to not be cooped up for months at a time and enjoying doing a lot as a family. We have been able to spend a lot of time outdoors with the kids and I think that is worth it! Ive also been able to make some super sweet friends here and thankfully a lot of them go to the gym that I joined so they can keep me motivated to go.
So that's kind of the news with me: figuring out what the mass is, joining a gym and getting healthy, and moving to Florida (ok well thats mostly old news but I guess I never shared that either).
3.07.2014
The real answer to how I'm doing...
Its been 3 months since my Tubal surgery (I didn't blog about it because it literally consumed my life for a while after and was in and out of the hospital 3 times). Since then things have been pretty bad and eventually I just started answer Im fine when anyone would ask how its going. Id brush off pain, bleeding, and other issues and just believe that it was going to get better. My doctor basically gave me till March to be 100% or close other wise she wanted to hear from me. Well I called last week and she was out. So she called me this week and wanted to see me right away and "talk". That was Wednesday. It was decided then that Im going to have to have a hysterectomy. Unfortunately its not just lap surgery. It will be a Total Abdominal Hysterectomy. I'll be in the hospital at least 3 but more likely more nights. And about a 6 week recovery at minim. Surgery is schedule for 2 weeks from now.
Am I surprised that I have to have this? No. My grandma had it at 29 and my mom in her 30s. Its something Ive know could happen to me. Im walking such a fine line between being ok with it and feeling completely freaked out. Im young yes. Im done having kids..yes. But its still such a big thing and I never imagined I'd be doing this so soon after another surgery. My last surgery went so bad that Im nervous for this one. The fact that I needed a blood transfusion for such a "minor" surgery last time makes me nervous for that again even though it went fine. I got pneumonia last time and Ive nervous to get that again too (I get it several times a year anymore it seems).
So that's where Im at. I could use prayers, support, help in anyway, meals if you can. I am never one of ask for help but I know Im going to need it. I know I can get through this.
Am I surprised that I have to have this? No. My grandma had it at 29 and my mom in her 30s. Its something Ive know could happen to me. Im walking such a fine line between being ok with it and feeling completely freaked out. Im young yes. Im done having kids..yes. But its still such a big thing and I never imagined I'd be doing this so soon after another surgery. My last surgery went so bad that Im nervous for this one. The fact that I needed a blood transfusion for such a "minor" surgery last time makes me nervous for that again even though it went fine. I got pneumonia last time and Ive nervous to get that again too (I get it several times a year anymore it seems).
So that's where Im at. I could use prayers, support, help in anyway, meals if you can. I am never one of ask for help but I know Im going to need it. I know I can get through this.
6.06.2013
My sweet girl
I'm almost 2 months behind on blogging but lets face it I wasn't doing so good at keeping up before she arrived.
Callie Sophia arrived on @ 550pm April 19th, 2013. She weighed 7lbs, 20.5" and a full head of hair. She has been an amazing baby and is rarely fussy. She's already sleeping 6-7 hour stretches some nights and is nursing like a champ. Her delivery didn't go so smooth but all that matters is she is here safe and sound and I'm pretty much fully healed physically. I'm dealing with some baby blues which has been rough.
Overall life is good :)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Callie Sophia arrived on @ 550pm April 19th, 2013. She weighed 7lbs, 20.5" and a full head of hair. She has been an amazing baby and is rarely fussy. She's already sleeping 6-7 hour stretches some nights and is nursing like a champ. Her delivery didn't go so smooth but all that matters is she is here safe and sound and I'm pretty much fully healed physically. I'm dealing with some baby blues which has been rough.
Overall life is good :)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
4.10.2013
Reflecting on the last 7 1/2 years...
As my due date is coming soon I have spent a lot of time reflecting
on the last 7 1/2 years. That's when this journey all started and I just
can't even begin to explain how much all of this has changed me.
Throughout this whole pregnancy it's always been in the back of my mind
that "if" this baby makes then this chapter is closed. A chapter that
has consumed so much of me and something that I have wanted my entire
life and never knew back then that I would have to fight so hard to get.
We spent almost 2 years of trying on our own before we started getting tested for everything under the sun. Once we were given my diagnosis it seemed to me that it would just be so simple. We would try clomid and boom I would be pregnant. Well it sort of worked that way. We tried for a few months and then on my 3rd round we did IUI with it. On April 15, 2008 we finally got the answer we were hoping for. I was pregnant. Its ironic to me that this sweet baby girl is due the exact same day (5 years later) as my 1st positive pregnancy test. Unfortunately almost 12 weeks later that sweet baby was gone and after a horrible miscarriage (D&C) we picked ourselves back up and tried again. Then in November we would get another positive test but unfortunately that one ended much quicker at 5 1/2 weeks. I had a positive blood test and knew that I was but unfortunately minutes after telling my husbands family we were pregnant I went to the bathroom and began to lose that baby. (We actually went to this same restaurant for my husband's birthday this year and I went into the bathroom and all the memories came flooding back of that horrible day). We did a total of 9 IUIs and I can't even count how many infertility drugs went along with that. After that we decided to do IVF but after the mock transfer decided that we just needed a break. Two weeks later we decided to start the adoption process and less than 6 months later our sweet little man was born. The process went way faster than we could have ever imagined but we know without a doubt that God's timing was perfect because we had to go through all that to lead us to him. He has been the most amazing gift and we couldn't picture our life without him. Once he was born we never stopped trying (I never went back on any birth control once I was off of it).
Through those 2 years after our little man came alone I dove into more of what it really meant to have PCOS and what I could do to help my body. After talking with my doctor we decided to try Metformin. It's a diabetic drug that has shown to help women with PCOS to have full term pregnancies and also help regulate cycles. Since mine would go for months I decided it was worth a try. It did help somewhat regulate me but we still didn't get pregnant. When little man turned 2 my husband and I decided it was time to think about what was next for our little family. At that point we decided I would talk to my doctor and see what she thought. Could I try clomid with no monitoring and just try like normal people with that help of that. Well my appointment was at the beginning of July and at that point my cycle was well over 100 days so either way I needed her to do something. We talked about options and timing and everything because not only was my brother getting married but I was leaving on a mission trip to Panama at the end of the month. We also talked about research that I had found that said you could just start clomid on people like me at any time and didn't need to restart a cycle. So we decided that Id go home and start the clomid and go from there. It was strange to not be poked, prodded and all of that during an cycle but it was also a great feeling to just be "normal". We did use OPK's and it was also decided that I would take Metformin as well as progesterone during the cycle because that also helps to sustain a pregnancy. My brother's wedding came and went and the mission trip came and went. Well the next morning after arriving back in the states I decided to take a test. I really thought nothing of it. I'd seen a million negative tests before so when it immediately turned positive I was shocked. Never in a million years did I think it would be "that easy". I had several blood tests and ultrasounds and it was confirmed that everything was right on track (and that there was ONLY 1 baby). From there on out things have gone mostly smooth. Ive had ups and downs and spent a few months mostly on the couch but now here I am with a sweet baby girl moving in my belly and a due date that is just days away.
There are so many things I would change about how the last 7 years has gone but I know that everything happens for a reason. There were so many dark days during this process where I really believed that maybe I wasn't meant to be a mother because it just wasn't happening. The number one thing that I would change in all of this is that my mom would be here to see this sweet girl. She loved little man so much but she wanted so badly for me to be able to have one more child and hoped I would be able to have a girl. My mom was my best friend and someone I talked to everyday and saw most days. She was the most amazing mother and grandmother and it just breaks my heart that my kids will never get to experience how amazing she was. I only hope that I will be the mom she was and that I will have the same close relationships that she had with my brother and I; now with my son and daughter.
I am so ready to close this chapter of building our family and move on to the part of raising my sweet babies, being the best wife I can, and focusing on what I have in life and not what I am still missing.
We spent almost 2 years of trying on our own before we started getting tested for everything under the sun. Once we were given my diagnosis it seemed to me that it would just be so simple. We would try clomid and boom I would be pregnant. Well it sort of worked that way. We tried for a few months and then on my 3rd round we did IUI with it. On April 15, 2008 we finally got the answer we were hoping for. I was pregnant. Its ironic to me that this sweet baby girl is due the exact same day (5 years later) as my 1st positive pregnancy test. Unfortunately almost 12 weeks later that sweet baby was gone and after a horrible miscarriage (D&C) we picked ourselves back up and tried again. Then in November we would get another positive test but unfortunately that one ended much quicker at 5 1/2 weeks. I had a positive blood test and knew that I was but unfortunately minutes after telling my husbands family we were pregnant I went to the bathroom and began to lose that baby. (We actually went to this same restaurant for my husband's birthday this year and I went into the bathroom and all the memories came flooding back of that horrible day). We did a total of 9 IUIs and I can't even count how many infertility drugs went along with that. After that we decided to do IVF but after the mock transfer decided that we just needed a break. Two weeks later we decided to start the adoption process and less than 6 months later our sweet little man was born. The process went way faster than we could have ever imagined but we know without a doubt that God's timing was perfect because we had to go through all that to lead us to him. He has been the most amazing gift and we couldn't picture our life without him. Once he was born we never stopped trying (I never went back on any birth control once I was off of it).
Through those 2 years after our little man came alone I dove into more of what it really meant to have PCOS and what I could do to help my body. After talking with my doctor we decided to try Metformin. It's a diabetic drug that has shown to help women with PCOS to have full term pregnancies and also help regulate cycles. Since mine would go for months I decided it was worth a try. It did help somewhat regulate me but we still didn't get pregnant. When little man turned 2 my husband and I decided it was time to think about what was next for our little family. At that point we decided I would talk to my doctor and see what she thought. Could I try clomid with no monitoring and just try like normal people with that help of that. Well my appointment was at the beginning of July and at that point my cycle was well over 100 days so either way I needed her to do something. We talked about options and timing and everything because not only was my brother getting married but I was leaving on a mission trip to Panama at the end of the month. We also talked about research that I had found that said you could just start clomid on people like me at any time and didn't need to restart a cycle. So we decided that Id go home and start the clomid and go from there. It was strange to not be poked, prodded and all of that during an cycle but it was also a great feeling to just be "normal". We did use OPK's and it was also decided that I would take Metformin as well as progesterone during the cycle because that also helps to sustain a pregnancy. My brother's wedding came and went and the mission trip came and went. Well the next morning after arriving back in the states I decided to take a test. I really thought nothing of it. I'd seen a million negative tests before so when it immediately turned positive I was shocked. Never in a million years did I think it would be "that easy". I had several blood tests and ultrasounds and it was confirmed that everything was right on track (and that there was ONLY 1 baby). From there on out things have gone mostly smooth. Ive had ups and downs and spent a few months mostly on the couch but now here I am with a sweet baby girl moving in my belly and a due date that is just days away.
There are so many things I would change about how the last 7 years has gone but I know that everything happens for a reason. There were so many dark days during this process where I really believed that maybe I wasn't meant to be a mother because it just wasn't happening. The number one thing that I would change in all of this is that my mom would be here to see this sweet girl. She loved little man so much but she wanted so badly for me to be able to have one more child and hoped I would be able to have a girl. My mom was my best friend and someone I talked to everyday and saw most days. She was the most amazing mother and grandmother and it just breaks my heart that my kids will never get to experience how amazing she was. I only hope that I will be the mom she was and that I will have the same close relationships that she had with my brother and I; now with my son and daughter.
I am so ready to close this chapter of building our family and move on to the part of raising my sweet babies, being the best wife I can, and focusing on what I have in life and not what I am still missing.
3.18.2013
36 weeks...
Since I completely fell off the wagon with these updates I thought Id finally get one in before she comes. I really thought I'd do better at these updates but they just haven't happened.
This week, Baby is the size of a: She now weighs almost 6 pounds (Found out she's the size of a weird melon that I've never heard of and saw another site that said bowling ball so I'm going with bowling ball) and is more than 18 1/2 inches long
How far along? 36 weeks
Due date: 04-15-13
Baby is: It's a GIRL. Callie Sophia is the final name.
Maternity clothes? Yep and I'm slowly over them and ready to wear a Mu Mu :) At least summer is coming which means dresses & flip flops (I may have pulled them out last week a few times while it was icy and 25 out).
Sleep: I think I get better sleep in an hour afternoon nap than I do at night. Between bathroom trips, hip pain, and a husband who snores now (I think he always did I just use to fall asleep b4 him). Sleep has not been so good. I get now how pregnancy prepares you for not sleeping once baby comes. We didn't get that the first time around and went from visiting him at the hospital and going back to the hotel for 12 hours of sleep one night to none the next night.
Best moment this week: This was from a few weeks ago but the sweet girls at my mom's group table threw me a shower. It was perfect and SO sweet and I felt so blessed by it. Other than that trying my best to live in every moment with little man being an only child.
Food cravings: Choc Covered Strawberry blizzard :) Its pretty much the only thing I won't get heartburn from
Movement: Tons.I thought it would slow down as she ran out of room but now they are so strong I'm pretty sure she's breaking out through my belly.
Symptoms: The worst of it is the hip pain at night and the heartburn. I have been lucky that the heartburn hasn't been so bad until about 2 weeks ago it hit and I've been living off antacids.
Labor Signs: Had one night where I was pretty sure it was it but the contractions stopped as soon as I drank water and laid down.
Swelling? Feet are like fred flinstone
Belly Button in or out? In
What I miss: sleeping through the night is about it
Feeling toward Pregnancy: Feeling so blessed to make it this far. Also feeling like a crazy pregnant person because whenever I leave the house now I start thinking about my water breaking and what plan I have in place to get my husband and get little man Settled :) That and labour dreams have been crazy too.
What I am looking forward to: Seeing her sweet face!
Milestones: Getting to 36 weeks!
News: I've got my bags packed and sitting by the door. I have everything lined up and am just waiting for her to decide it's time.
This week, Baby is the size of a: She now weighs almost 6 pounds (Found out she's the size of a weird melon that I've never heard of and saw another site that said bowling ball so I'm going with bowling ball) and is more than 18 1/2 inches long
How far along? 36 weeks
Due date: 04-15-13
Baby is: It's a GIRL. Callie Sophia is the final name.
Maternity clothes? Yep and I'm slowly over them and ready to wear a Mu Mu :) At least summer is coming which means dresses & flip flops (I may have pulled them out last week a few times while it was icy and 25 out).
Sleep: I think I get better sleep in an hour afternoon nap than I do at night. Between bathroom trips, hip pain, and a husband who snores now (I think he always did I just use to fall asleep b4 him). Sleep has not been so good. I get now how pregnancy prepares you for not sleeping once baby comes. We didn't get that the first time around and went from visiting him at the hospital and going back to the hotel for 12 hours of sleep one night to none the next night.
Best moment this week: This was from a few weeks ago but the sweet girls at my mom's group table threw me a shower. It was perfect and SO sweet and I felt so blessed by it. Other than that trying my best to live in every moment with little man being an only child.
Food cravings: Choc Covered Strawberry blizzard :) Its pretty much the only thing I won't get heartburn from
Movement: Tons.I thought it would slow down as she ran out of room but now they are so strong I'm pretty sure she's breaking out through my belly.
Symptoms: The worst of it is the hip pain at night and the heartburn. I have been lucky that the heartburn hasn't been so bad until about 2 weeks ago it hit and I've been living off antacids.
Labor Signs: Had one night where I was pretty sure it was it but the contractions stopped as soon as I drank water and laid down.
Swelling? Feet are like fred flinstone
Belly Button in or out? In
What I miss: sleeping through the night is about it
Feeling toward Pregnancy: Feeling so blessed to make it this far. Also feeling like a crazy pregnant person because whenever I leave the house now I start thinking about my water breaking and what plan I have in place to get my husband and get little man Settled :) That and labour dreams have been crazy too.
What I am looking forward to: Seeing her sweet face!
Milestones: Getting to 36 weeks!
News: I've got my bags packed and sitting by the door. I have everything lined up and am just waiting for her to decide it's time.
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