Cozy Truck Vs The Radio Flyer Wagon

So Nils and I have been having this debate lately about what to get Stewart for his birthday. One of use wants to get him the adorable Cozy Truck and one wants to get a wagon. You may be surprised who wants to get him what.
We got him a chair (or really a slip cover for a chair we have yet to get but wanted the CUTE slipcover for the anywhere chair before it sold out/was on clearance). Im not sure if we'll save the chair for Christmas and get something else for his birthday. So here's where you come in. What do you think should be Stewart's 1st birthday present? Cast your vote on the right hand side of the blog!

Or

National Infertility Awareness Week - Bust a Myth

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week. I have debated on writing about the myth I wanted to write on for a few days. It is one that I have heard SO much since we adopted and it is one that I have the hardest time hearing now that I am a mom. The myth I want to bust is "If you adopt, you will get pregnant". Just because a couple adopts after going through years of infertility does not mean that they will get pregnant. While this does happen for some couples for others it does not. I have been on "the pill" for over 5 years now. We have had 2 pregnancies both of which were achieved through either clomid/IUI or with gonal-f/IUI. I have never been pregnant just the plain old natural way. Have I given up hope that maybe someday we will get pregnant like most people I know? Not at all. But I am also realistic in knowing that there's a good chance it won't happen for me. My cycles are usually 100+ days and have gotten even worse as I have been trying to lose weight over the last year (another myth...lose weight if you are over weight and you'll get pregnant/have normal cycles).

Anyways I guess I just wanted to share that being Infertile is something I continue to deal with and face on a regular basis. Yes I am a mom now and it has been the biggest dream come true for me but it does not cure/end a disease that I will probably always live with. It doesn't cure the months where I have pain. The cysts I have had removed, or any of the other ongoing issues I will have.

I know so many sweet girls that still live on with this even after their miracle babies come and I know so many that are still waiting for their miracle. So in honor of this week I pray for my sweet friends still waiting and for those who are on the other side and yet still live with this everyday! You girls have meant so much over the last 5 years! You truly get what it is to live with Infertility and for that I will always be grateful for your love and support! I am also thankful for those of you who don't live with this but still are there and have been supportive! Even though you don't get it you still care! So thank you!

To learn more about the Bust a Myth campaign http://www.resolve.org/infertility101
More background of National Infertility Awareness Week® (NIAW): http://www.resolve.org/takecharge.*

Sea Life at MOA

Last weekend we went to the "new" Sea Life at Mall of America. It turned out to not be so "new" afterall and really all that changed was the name. But it was fun to take Stewart. He loved seeing all the fish and other sea creatures. He loved the Jelly Fish room. Best of all we got to hang out with some other parents who's kids are under 1.

Happy Easter!

Party planning and catching up!

Ok so I must admit that lately I just dont know what to write about. Pretty much everyday is filled with the same. Wake up, get ready, wake Stewart and get him ready, take him to nils, go to work, pick up Stewart, make dinner, think about cleaning the house and doing laundry but push it off to another day and instead make things, plan things, and think about all things 1st birthday, watch tv, go to bed, and then repeat. Yep that pretty much sums up a typical day.

So fun things that we have done lately:

-See his birth family twice in the last 2 weeks which both times were amazing and always involve eating!
-Go to the Mall of America to the new Sea Life. Note to self. Its not worth $33. It is cool but its a seen it once and Im go kind of place for me. Im sure others will love it but for now Id rather go to the Zoo which we will soon have a membership to thanks to my family (its Stewarts birthday gift).
-Go for walks. We have gone on a few walks and went on one with some friends of ours. It was fun to walk with them. Their sweet little girl is 11 days older than Stewart. We have already put her on the list of acceptable girls to date in 20 years ;)
-Teething/Colds. This is all Stewart. Poor guy has 4 molars coming in at the same time. They have all broken through the gum and when they fully come in he will officiall have 11 or is it 12 teeth now.
-Finally decide what to get Stewart for his birthday. We decided to get him an anywhere chair from pottery barn kids. Right now I just bought the slip cover for fear of it selling out because it is on clearance. http://www.potterybarnkids.com/products/star-wars-r2d2-hybrid-anywhere-chair/?pkey=e%7Cstar%2Bwars%7C25%7Cbest%7C0%7C1%7C24%7C%7C6&cm_src=PRODUCTSEARCH||NoFacet-_-NoFacet-_-NoMerchRules-_-
-Party plan of course. I have my list made and can hardly believe its in 3 weeks! Where did the last year go?

I think that pretty much sums up the last few weeks. We have some fun things coming up soon! First family professional photos, first Easter, first BIRTHDAY, daddy's first overnight alone, and a trip to the zoo on Stewart's birthday. Stay tuned. I'll try to get back to being a better blogger and post pics of our adventures soon!

First bump on his head :(

Stewart got his first bump on his head tonight. He was crawling around and went head first into Sadie's toy box. Ugh. He cried for a few seconds and I felt like throwing up. :( needless to say after he went to bed I ate ice cream. Ugh. I know this is the first of many because he's a busy boy on the go but I'm not ready!
Hopefully by morning there won't be such a big bump! Poor little man! I'm ready to turn my house into one giant padded room!








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Happy 11 Months!

11 Month pics take 1 (notice the different outfits...took 2 days to get a pic)

11 Month pics take 2.

Words I needed to hear today

My good friend K told me not to stress! Things will work out and obviously things worked out better than I could ever imagine with Stewart now I just need to trust that it will with all the job stuff and me staying home! Thanks also to those whole let me messages on my blog! :)

I read this verse on one of my message boards today and needed to hear it!

But these things I plan won't happen right away, slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not... be overdue a single day!
HABAKKUK 2:3

Online support

I am on a few message boards online. I have been through my darkest days with these girls and there has always been at least one girl that got exactly what I was going through at that moment and chances are they were experiencing it too. My friends in real life have been awesome and supportive too but there is just something special about bonding with people who get it. My TTC your first child 6+ months (yeah long name but needed to be separate and for most of us it could have been 2+,3+,4+ years) girls are the ones who I have gotten to know the best! They have been there through 4 years of trying to get pregnant and my 2 losses and they are even still there now for me even when we chose to adopt instead of continue trying to get pregnant. I am so thankful to be able to still connect with a lot of them because there are a group of us who all have our miracle babies around the same age (give or take a year).
Well anyways not really sure where I was going with this other than to give them a BIG thanks for their support. I know a hand full of them read my blog so I just wanted to share with them how much they have helped me in the last 5 years! :)

Hitting a low point

The last few weeks have really dug me into a deep low. I want so badly to be staying home with my little guy. I want so badly to be the one taking care of him all the time and having fun playdates, going to the zoo, and just watching him grow up. I have missed so much of his time in the last 10 months that I don't want to go too many more months with working and missing out. I have been so proud of Nils because he is looking and trying so hard so that I can stay home and I appreciate that so much! He knows how miserable I am and unfortunately as much as Im trying to just take it day by day and trust that eventually I will get my dream of staying home I feel like right now that dream is so far away. Stewart has started waving a lot and now in the mornings I almost (well sometimes I actually do) leave in tears because he smiles and waves bye bye to me. Some days when I go to pick him up from daycare he turns to her when I try to take him. Ugh. I know he loves me and I know that he knows who I am but sometimes (ok most of the time now) its so hard to be a working mom. My house is a mess, the laundry is piled up, and all I can really handle at night is hanging out with him till he goes to bed which is 2-3 hrs after we get home and then going to bed myself so I can get up in the morning and see him and repeat this whole thing again. I have tried to be positive, thankful I have a job, and thankful we can pay all of our bills but my heart still aches.
Who wouldn't want to be home all the time to hang out with this sweet face:

The weekend that I could have (mostly) done without

This weekend is not the best weekend I have had in a while. It started out early Friday morning with a call from my mom saying that my grandpa was in the ER and being transported to Mayo. I immediately called into work to tell them I wouldn't be there and drove mom, grandma, Stewart and I down there to spend the day. It was a long day and basically what came out of if is that grandpa needs to have his main heart valve replaced. He is 87 so it is a decision that you can't take lightly because it is major surgery with 2-6 months recovery. They decided to talk it over more and will decide in the next few weeks what he will do. We spent most of Saturday there and by Sunday I decided I just couldn't do anymore. Sunday I also had plans. My good friend Katie is starting her own business and I wanted to have her come and do a party at my house and this was planned a few weeks ago and honestly was perfect timing to wind down the crazy weekend. We had some amazing food and tried out some of the products. All Wildtree products are all natural with no preservatives. They contain no high fructose corn syrup, no msg, no harmful chemicals or additive, and are low or no sodium. They also offer some gluten-free, dairy-free, and soy-free things. Everything is also nut-free.  If you are interested in checking her site out its: http://www.mywildtree.com/katieheyer/. Their products are really great and healthy! I'm excited to try out some new things!
One of the highlights of my weekend was taking my little guy for a walk. Unfortunately Nils got called into work but we took the walk anyways and also played at the neighborhood playground. I can't wait for the weather to get nicer and we can do this more often!! Here are some pictures from this weekend.

Napping with great grandma in the hospital waiting room.

Shopping at the hospital gift shop. They had Ugly dolls so Stewart picked this one.

Swinging at the park

Riding Uncle Josh's new harley