Recap on 2012

We've been in 2013 for a week now and I am glad for a year filled with hope and excitement.

2012 brought another year of grief for our family and also a year filled with an answered prayer that was 6 1/2 years in the making.

I started the year visiting New York with one of my best friends. Then we celebrated little man's 2nd birthday which was so much fun this year! There are very few days that we still don't hear about cake. He's already started planning his birthday. I'm pretty sure it will be Mickey themed per his request. Its amazing how much he talks now and how full of life he is. I can hardly believe I will soon have a 3 year old. Then came my mission trip to Panama which was an amazing experience and I had "planned" to go back this year too but other plans were made right after that trip. The morning after getting back from the trip is one that I will never in my life forget. It was a morning filled with pure shock, excitement, and fear all rolled into one. Never in my life had a seen a more positive pregnancy test and never in my life have I bawled so hard at happy news. The first call I made was to my husband and it took several tries before he understood what I was saying through my sobbing. I had always dreamed "if" that day ever came again Id do something super cute and clever but in that moment all I wanted to do was call everyone I knew and cry with them. The one call I so wished I could have made was to my sweet mommy. She dreamed of this day just as much as I did. I know she already knew long before I did but I still wish I could have seen her face and seen her reaction. Then came an amazing 8 year anniversary trip that ended with another nightmare for me. My sweet grandpa had a stroke which eventually took his life. I still don't think I have fully processed that he's gone. He was my father for most of my life and I am SO thankful for his influence on my life. He was so excited for this sweet baby and I know he and my mom are so excited for all of us to meet her. Soon after his passing we found out what we already knew in our hearts. It's a girl! I can't even begin to tell you how much I feel complete now. I dreamed for so long to be a mommy and having a sweet little man already I longed so much to have a daughter. I dream of the day when her and I can paint nails, and shop and do all things girly. I love that she will have an amazing big brother to watch after her. Then we had all the holidays that followed. They were as usual filled with emotion and pain. I am praying so much that this year will be totally different. I am praying this year will be a year of NO heartache and pain for my sweet family and that it will be all about this new sweet baby girl and all the fun memories we will have as a family of four. I can't wait to take them to my childhood vacation spot, summer play dates, and just finding my place as a mommy of two. I am SO thankful for a new year with new possibilities and I can't wait to see how everything unfolds this year!